IT'S DAY 15 of "Green Bay Held Hostage," and everyone's wondering how this standoff will end between the Packers and Brett Favre, their quarterback-turned-retiree-turned-Greta Van Susteren-stalker.

In the spirit of the NFL's all-time interceptions leader, let's heave up some wild scenarios for what's next in the NFL's most compelling quarterback controversy since Joe vs. Steve in 1993:

  • Favre and the Packers make peace, he returns to Lambeau, and they live happily ever after, at least until February 2009. (Wait, that's not wild enough. Let's kick it up a notch.)

  • He gets traded to the Raiders, who promptly hire long-time ally Steve Mariucci as coach in place of Lane Kiffin. Offensive coordinator Greg Knapp remains in his role, which, coincidentally, he held under Mariucci with the 49ers.

  • Favre walks into the Raiders locker room, vows not to be a mentor in his for-real final season and then hands Aaron Rodgers' cell number to JaMarcus Russell.

  • The 49ers welcome Favre aboard, and coach Mike Nolan declares an open competition among Favre, Alex Smith, Shaun Hill, J.T. O'Sullivan, Kyle Wright and Steve The Equipment Manager.

  • Nolan realizes Favre has made 253 consecutive regular-season starts (275 including playoffs) and then shares those ditties in a team meeting, but only after he orders softy Smith to leave the room.

  • Tired of throwing passes to Mississippi
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    high school kids, Favre shows up at De La Salle High School-Concord and fills the spot left by Joe Montana's son.

  • The Indianapolis Colts acquire Favre to fill in for Peyton Manning, who's spending the 2008 season filming commercials. (The Colts' company line will be that Manning is out because of knee surgery.)

  • The New England Patriots land Favre to (a) tell Tom Brady what it's like to rebound from a Super Bowl defeat, (b) hold the sideline video camera, (c) serve as Randy Moss' in-house masseur, (d) all of the above.

  • Favre stays retired. (Cue laugh track: "Ha, ha, ha!")

  • Favre is released. (Replay laugh track.)

  • Favre dismisses this as "all rumor." (Oh yeah, he did that two weeks ago.)

  • Favre pleads for his release on NBC's "Meet The Press," then lobbies to replace Tom Brokaw as the show's moderator through the presidential election. Favre is waffling on his vote, by the way.

  • He puts all of his Green Bay mementos up on eBay ("Buy two MVP awards, get the third free!").

  • The Baltimore Ravens, Houston Texans, Miami Dolphins, New York Jets, Kansas City Chiefs and every NFC North rival bid for Favre. He, in turn, asks the Packers' shareholders (including Van Susteren) to relocate their franchise to Mississippi.

  • Jose Canseco challenges Favre to a pay-per-view fight.

  • Favre talks Giants shortstop Omar Vizquel out of retiring during the All-Star break. Dang.

  • The Raiders remind Favre that (a) he had a magical night at the Coliseum in 2003 after his father's death, (b) they've spent money like crazy in this All-Or-Nothing year (which was preceded by five straight years of nothing), and, (c) he could own the AFC West the way Brady runs the AFC East, Manning the AFC South and Joe Flacco the AFC North (kidding on that last one).

  • John York promises to build Favre a new stadium anywhere in the Bay Area so long as he joins the 49ers, against whom Favre is 11-1 all-time.

  • Packers general manager Ted Thompson ends up looking like Miss America tripping over her evening gown at the Miss Universe pageant. This goes no matter how Thompson resolves Favre's future.

  • Moss and Warren Sapp call up their buddy Favre and tell him to avoid the Raiders.

  • Favre decides to play for (and unretire from) all 32 teams. If you don't want him here in the Bay Area, you haven't been watching the past five years of 49ers' and Raiders' futility.

    Contact Cam Inman at cinman@bayareanewsgroup.com