OUR E-MAIL BOX is nearing capacity again, and it's not all important bulletins from the likes of Milligan Peg, Lavonne Negronne, Barrera Fanny and Eduardo Watches. Although we're certainly happy to have those folks as readers.

When this happens, we like to select a few representative letters from the Deleted Items file and share them with the rest of you, sort of as a public service, and also because it's a great space filler. So efficient!

The first selection is in response to a column from a guy whose girlfriend told him he was "too nice." Why is that a bad thing, he wondered. Our response was, there's nice, and then there's doormat. No one likes a doormat. The advice: Take her opinions to heart and change your behavior. And to show her the new, tougher you by breaking up with her via text message.

Several Casanovas responded with more advice along the same lines:

  • "Don't be a pushover, don't give her money or buy her things, don't jump through her hoops. She won't respect you if you do that."

  • "Don't be a weanie (sic). Take the advice of some of those dating experts (pick-up artists) who say you should be a combination of arrogant and funny. Side note: it definitely works in the downtown San Jose bars and clubs."

  • "This is the best advice to ever come out of Male Call. Dump that woman! Then don't fall for her head games because she's gonna try to get you back so she could
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    prove you're spineless and dump you on her terms."

    Thanks for the tough-love advice, guys. Now, show of hands: How many of you have a date for Saturday night? Just checking.

    A woman named Cheryl whose husband cried at sappy movies involving forbidden love wondered if it might be because he once had an emotional affair with a younger woman who resembled Keira Knightley. We said, yeah, probably. And we got this advice from an unusually perceptive reader:

  • "If I had access to a willing 10-years-younger-than-I Keira Knightley lookalike, and my selfish wife refused to let me capitalize on such an incredibly rare and precious opportunity, I'd cry, too. Three words for Cheryl: menage a trois. Everybody wins, nobody has to cry." Good call; wish we had thought of that wise solution.

    Of course, sometimes we don't live up to our readers' lofty expectations. One felt our (totally metaphorical!) reference to a controlling man wanting his girlfriend to mow his lawn while wearing a burqa was not a wise choice as an example of women's wear.

  • "I want you to know that "... was in unusually poor taste and starkly offensive. It was a reference to the burqa, and I'm sure you have received more than a few complaints. Comments like this give the impression your paper is willing to sacrifice the requisite complex cultural sensitivity of our region for a cheap laugh."

    First of all, if you were a regular reader of the column, you'd know that cheap laughs are our raison d'etre, which is French for "not smart enough for more sophisticated humor." But seriously, we do understand the point you're making; we just disagree with it.

    Mentioning a burqa in this context is simply not culturally insensitive. Although now that you've forced us to think it though, it might have been a cheaper laugh had we used "nun's habit." Thanks!

    Male Call answers questions from men and women on etiquette, relationships, men's style and more, at malecall@mercurynews.com.

    Male Call