Q: Every summer since seventh grade, I have been forced to take classes at Cal by my mom. She says my academic life will become increasingly important in my sophomore and junior years and says that it's best to start right away. My classes are overwhelmingly difficult, with many hours of homework. And although classes end in July, I have further academic obligations to fulfill in August.

My close friends all attend classes at a small community college, and all have the same classes. They do stuff together and have fun, and I have been missing out on these fun activities due to my classes.

My summer fun has gone down the drain, and I'm afraid that my busy schedule ruined my relationship with my friends. What should I do, and how can I make sure my friends don't leave me behind? — Sophomore Slump

A: This is a hard question because I can truly see both sides of the issue. As a parent, I respect your mom's value of education and wanting to help your academics progress. I'm sure she sees the summer school classes as an investment that will pay off when you apply for college.

But as a therapist who works with teenagers, I see your side. The fact that you want to see your friends over summer and hang out makes you completely normal. Everyone needs a break and time to play. Without that, life becomes all work and no fun.

Are you able to talk with your mom about feeling overwhelmed? Maybe instead

of going to summer school next year, you could volunteer, get a fun summer job or find a travel program for high schoolers. If your mom insists on your doing something academic, find something you both can agree on.

If she won't listen to you, perhaps she will listen to your school counselor or academic adviser. Maybe your GPA and test scores are good enough that you don't even need summer school.

Don't worry about your friends leaving you behind. True friends will understand your situation. Designate some time for "fun and friends," and set aside your homework to laugh and play with your pals.

Strong academics give you options for the future. But strong friendships give you moments and memories that nurture who you are and where you came from. Finding the right balance will be as helpful as any class you take.

Kelly Richardson is a licensed therapist in Folsom who specializes in working with teenagers. Send questions to krichardson @sacbee.com.